I’ve always considered myself a great gift giver, at least in my own mind! And honestly… if you don’t hype yourself up, who will? But today, I want to share two things: how to be a great gift giver and, even more importantly (and way more overlooked), how to be a great gift receiver.
We all know how to pick out something cute, thoughtful, or extravagant. But receiving? That is where people get tripped up.
Case in point: I’ve got a friend, snobby, bougie, and proud of it. I love her dearly, but every year I’m scrambling. What do you buy someone who has everything, and reminds you often? Childhood bonds are funny like that… you hold on even when the friendship itself has changed. But that’s my annual dilemma.
Which is exactly why I want to start with the other side of this: being a great gift receiver.
My best friend Janet? You could wrap up a piece of coal, and she’d squeal like you gave her diamonds. She’ll hand me thrift store finds with, “Well… you know where this came from,” and I’m like, “Girl, I hope you paid fifty cents!” Because for me, and for many of you, it’s never about the price tag. It’s about the thought.
We’ve all seen those viral videos: one child surrounded by presents, still pouting… while another little one in a country with dirt floors unwraps a tiny gift and lights up like the Fourth of July. And we all say, “THAT is precious. THAT is gratitude.”
If you want to be a great giver, be a gracious receiver. And I learned that the hard way, let me take you back for a second.
When I was younger, I had relatives who didn’t have two pennies to rub together, though as a kid I didn’t see that. What I saw were gifts that made absolutely no sense to me. They would literally walk around their house, pick up whatever random object they could find… broken, chipped, dusty, it didn’t matter, and they’d wrap it up like it came from Tiffany’s.
I remember unwrapping things like a ceramic angel with one wing missing, a picture frame with no glass and a cardboard back barely holding on, a plastic brooch with half the rhinestones gone, still smelling faintly of their perfume, a chipped mug from a long-defunct gas station, even a cracked snow globe that didn’t even snow anymore, just murky liquid sloshing around.
They’d wrap these things in mismatched paper and Scotch tape that fought for its life trying to stick, smoothing it all out like it was something precious. They would hand it to me with this pride, this hope, this “I want you to know I love you” look in their eyes.
And me? I was too young, too naive, too spoiled to see the truth.
I remember thinking, “Why are they giving me this broken junk? Do they think I’m stupid?” I didn’t understand that they weren’t giving me tras, they were giving me pieces of themselves, the best they had, the only things they could offer without money in their pockets. They were trying to impress me, trying to earn my affection with the only currency they had left: sentiment and effort.
How I wish I could go back and hug them. How I wish I could say, “Thank you. I see what you were trying to do. I see the love.” But I can’t. So I pass the lesson on to you: don’t miss the meaning because you’re looking too closely at the material.
Now, let’s talk about giving, especially for you men out there wandering around Target like lost puppies. If you’re not dating a total… ahem… nightmare, the perfect gift isn’t about money, it’s about listening.
Women melt when you actually pay attention.
Think back to something she told you, a childhood memory, a vacation that meant everything, a story about her dad, something that made her light up like a firecracker. Now take that feeling and turn it into something tangible. A frog figurine because she loved frogs as a kid. A little beach photo because that family trip changed her life. Personalize it with a note: “This reminded me of the story you told me about Duluth… the leaves falling… your smile when you talked about it. I wanted you to have something to keep that moment forever.” Boom. She’ll be in tears.
I’ve always said if I ever get married, all I need is a twist tie around my finger. I don’t want a giant diamond. A simple gold band with a tiny moon carved into it, something that shows he heard me, that he knows where I come from, means more than anything money could buy.
And listen… if you’re scrambling right now? Still confused? CALL FRIENDS. Ask advice. Float ideas. Post on social media and block the person you’re shopping for. We all do it!
If money is tight, here’s the ultimate free gift: support somebody’s business every day. Share their posts. Talk them up. Tag them. Send people their way. Or do what I do, leave glowing feedback for hardworking employees. I just did this at Lowe’s. A wonderful older team member went above and beyond for me, so I sat right in the parking lot and wrote corporate the nicest letter. Those things lead to raises, promotions, and recognition. That’s a gift that lasts.
This season is about kindness. It’s about paying attention. It’s about reminding people, even strangers, that they matter. Gifts are great, but gratitude is better. If you master both, you’ll never have trouble giving or receiving ever again.
Stay grateful.
Stay gracious.
Stay Golden.
#GoldyKnows
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