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Setting Yourself Up For Success In Goldy’s Corner

I have a beautiful column in the Los Angeles Tribune, and I want to share some of the best advice I’ve ever given. This advice comes from a place of authenticity, and I believe it can benefit everyone.

My mother was terminally ill from the day I was born. After her death, I learned that having me had significantly strained her health. Despite being unwell, she lived her life with remarkable positivity, viewing everything through rose-colored glasses. She used laughter and optimism to navigate her challenging journey. You would never have known the extent of her suffering. She always saw the glass not half full, not half empty, but overflowing. I strive to carry on her legacy with that mindset.

Before I speak, I consider whether my words will be framed positively or negatively. For example, instead of saying, “I will never forget your kindness,” which, though a nice sentiment, is negative, I say, “I will always remember your kindness.” The meaning is the same, but the impact is much more powerful.

Years ago, I created a book for the YWCA based on our band’s song, “Today I Won’t Be Afraid.” It featured photos of women newly free from domestic violence, celebrating their courage. The book was supposed to be titled “Today I Won’t Be Afraid,” with our CD included in the back of the book. At the last minute, they changed the name to “Today I Am.” Initially, I was upset because it wasn’t the name of our song. However, over time, I understood their decision. They wanted to eliminate the negativity associated with the words “won’t” and “afraid.” The women had conquered their fears, and the new title reflected their empowerment.

A phrase I often heard growing up was, “She’s just setting herself up for failure.” This negative outlook crept into my dating experiences, which were disastrous. My mother found humor in my stories, laughing at my failed attempts while laughing at her own past catastrophes. I learned to reframe this phrase into a powerful affirmation: “I’m going to set myself up for success.” While I’m not always perfect, this mindset has made a significant difference in my life. Let me share two examples 1. DATING, 2. ORGANIZATION IN THE HOME, of how you can set yourself up for epic success!

Firstly, when it comes to dating, if you’re newly single or freshly divorced and diving back into the dating pool, you’d better bring your life jacket—it’s rough out there! Lol, I hear a lot of stories. Sure, there are some good people out there, but now that everyone knows about narcissism, it’s easy to spot those who’ve really perfected that trait from their profiles. You might find yourself going on dates only to wonder why you even bothered getting ready. So, let me give you a hand with that!

Got a date? Whether it’s a blind date or someone you just met, it’s time to get your rear in gear and look as fabulous as you can! Do your hair, shave, smell amazing, and snag yourself a killer new outfit—even if it’s from Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Ross, Burlington, or an outlet store. You can even score a hot deal on Amazon. Treat yourself to something stylish but affordable and discounted. That way, you won’t feel guilty about spending a little money!

Don’t just go on the date—set yourself up for success! Call a friend and let them know you’ve got something cooking, but you want them as your backup plan. It’s no insult to them; you’re letting them in on it from the get-go. If the date’s a dud, a no-show, or just a plain catastrophe, you’ve got Plan B ready to go! Dinner, a movie, an exhibit—whatever! Have them on standby. Make sure it doesn’t interrupt their schedule and that they’re cool with it. Most people are excited to hear how it all goes and are there for you!

Don’t have a BFF to call? No problem! Schedule something else that won’t matter if you show up or not, but if things go south, you’ve got another place to be. Maybe it’s a rooftop cocktail bar where you’ll already be looking fabulous and might meet the person the universe intended for you all along. Or perhaps it’s a place you’ve been dying to impress some people at—now you’re looking your best and can show up in all your glory. Maybe you’ll walk into a great new gym, ask about a membership, and have your clothes ready for a free workout while looking and smelling amazing. This is perfect for attracting someone you didn’t even expect! Set yourself up for success with plenty of backup plans.

Nowhere to go? No problem! Aim the lights in your house at yourself, find a cool vignette or backdrop in your space, prop up your phone, and have an impromptu photo shoot. You’re already looking great—maybe even step outside and strike a pose for a fantastic portrait. Take your time, play some jams, snap some new photos, and upload those bad boys to your favorite dating site. Turn those lemons into lemonade! This is how you set yourself up for success.

I’m going to leave you with this thought on tying up loose cluttered household ends and having a fresh start guaranteed to set you up for success. Who’s got time for a yard sale with all that junk in your house? I sure as heck don’t. So, gather it all up and take it to a thrift store as a donation. But before you do that, try this little ditty.

I ditched consignment stores because they’re usually grump central, offering pennies for my treasures. Unless it’s primo stuff, like high-end threads or top-dollar items, then I’ve got a plan. Cue Facebook Marketplace or hunt down a spot that appreciates quality goods. But let me lay down my ultimate clutter-busting, cash-making scheme.

I want you all to imagine doing this because it works! I set up shop outside my studio, slapping my QR code on a snazzy display sign. Each item gets a clear price tag, or I bundle ’em up for simplicity’s sake and one price for all. The goods hang out all weekend, Friday through Sunday, until they vanish into thin air.

And get this – not a single theft in sight! But even if someone snagged a steal, it’s still a win-win. Less stuff to haul to the thrift store, and more cash rolling in. Picture me, sipping lemonade as Venmo, Cash App, and PayPal notifications cha-ching their way into my mailbox.

It’s a triumph, folks! Keep that noggin clear, vibes positive, and remember: never set yourself up for failure. Always “Set Yourself Up For Success!

#GoldyKnows

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#GoldyLocks #GoldyLocksRocks #LifeAdvice #DatingAdvice #Cheapskate #Cheapskates #MoneySaving #SaveMoney

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