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Steamy Sex In Goldy’s Corner

Hot steamy sex, everyone wants it. We long for that magical fire we feel when we first get together. Then life sets in. We get comfortable, our guard comes down and things sometimes change and not always for the best.

This whole article is inspired by a tweet where I asked:

Do ALL males leave their underwear on the floor everywhere? Asking for a friend. (This friend has family in town…)

One response really needs attention:

“Yes, it helps up determine the women we want to keep in our lives.”

“If she yells at you, gone. If she asks you to pick em up, she can hang. She picks it up, she can stay. If she washes em, you’ve got a friggin unicorn and don’t lose that woman.”

Bro, I say this with a smile, but your response inspired an entire article. To answer your last point… If she washes your underwear you don’t have a unicorn my friend, you have your MOM. 

It’s no secret that men are sometimes messy. Women, on the other hand, are not always, but historically are tidier. Yes, there are exceptions. I’m not here to talk about those or gay men. I’m here to talk about the bros who need some help waking up. Let it be said when a woman has to pick up after a man it makes her feel like his mother. This doesn’t equal “hot steamy sex” it makes the woman resentful.

It’s true that we all have our own personal quirks and things we find either gross or attractive. But when it comes to the opposite sex, there are certain things that just turn us off immediately. And so in order to save you from any more heartbreak than necessary, here is a list of five gross things women absolutely hate.

  1. No Fundy Undy

We don’t want to pick up your underwear. It says I could give zero ______’s about you. That’s it.

Toddlers leave their little pants on the floor. Do you want us to think of you as a baby boy? Really? Just sit and think about that. Then think about it again. Some poor helpless little kid. Is that sexy? If it is then you’ve REALLY got some problems.

Go to a dollar store and get a collapsable hamper, Keep it behind your bedroom door, closet, or someplace out of sight. Drop your unmentionables INside. Easy and DONE. You’re welcome.

  1. No Wishes For Dishes.

Wash your dishes, or rinse and put them away. Unwashed dishes rotting in the sink can mold, create unhealthy bacteria and become a general nuisance to finally get clean.

The food drys and bakes on creating MORE work for someone. That time could be used for SEX. Leave dirty dishes, you just screwed yourself. Also, this is a HUGE turn ON for cockroaches. Delicious, sign me up. NEXT

  1. Toothpaste toothpaste on the wall… or on the mirror 

Do you not know how to brush your teeth, you grown-ass man? Does baby boo need to watch himself in the mirror to know where his teeth are? I see you all grabbing yourself at the gas pumps, waiting in the checkout line. Did you forget where your pee pee was? It confuses me when I see men doing this. That’s what I think when I’ve cleaned off so many bathroom mirrors in my life. Why? Toothpaste everywhere is a mess, a hassle, and actually wears out the finish of your faucet and other bathroom accouterments. If you do need to stare at yourself while doing the deed, wipe it clean. It says, I’m a slob and don’t care. #NotSexy

  1. No Hate For A Plate

If you are eating a snack at a women’s home or even your own place, put a plate underneath it ok? Insect pests such as flies, ants, and again, cockroaches are highly attracted to leftover food on dishes. Leaving crumbs out in the open in your home or office is another good way to attract mice. Crumbs not cleaned up are all a feast for a mouse. “Trapping Mice.” Sounds like a fun date night or a really bad band name. 

  1. No Dirty Sheets I Repeat

I’ve left bro’s house sans doing the deed because of this. The guy actually had it in the bag, LITERALLY, then I not only smell the sheets but SEE the problem. Humans shed between 30,000 and 40,000 skin cells every day, according to the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD). Congratulations because that’s impressive, but also, you spend hours of your life in bed.

All those dead cells pile up on your sheets in between washings. Tiny dust mites love to feed on the shed cells. The critters and their droppings can trigger allergies, asthma, and cause your itchy eczema to flare. If you’re allergic to dust mites, wash bedding every week in hot water.

Most people should wash their sheets once per week. If you don’t sleep on your mattress every day, you may be able to stretch this to once every two weeks or so. Some people should wash their sheets even more often than once a week.

Being clean is just one of the many things that women are likely to be looking for in a partner. It’s not always easy to know what will make her panties drop, but I’ve listed 5 low-hanging fruit you can pick up on before she even shows up at your doorstep. Remember these five ways to improve your chances without spending ANY money whatsoever! Implement these Golden Nuggets today. You may just find yourself getting lucky tonight.

All those dead cells pile up on your sheets in between washings. Tiny dust mites love to feed on the shed cells. The critters and their droppings can trigger allergies, asthma, and cause your itchy eczema to flare. If you’re allergic to dust mites, wash bedding every week in hot water.

Most people should wash their sheets once per week. If you don’t sleep on your mattress every day, you may be able to stretch this to once every two weeks or so. Some people should wash their sheets even more often than once a week.

Being clean is just one of the many things that women are likely to be looking for in a partner. It’s not always easy to know what will make her panties drop, but I’ve listed 5 low-hanging fruit you can pick up on before she even shows up at your doorstep. Remember these five ways to improve your chances without spending ANY money whatsoever! Implement these Golden Nuggets today. You may just find yourself getting lucky tonight. –#GoldyKnows

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