It was a hot and smoldering Father’s Day in many places in the world this June 20th, 2021. I’d expect nothing less due to the love being shown everywhere in the world for our Fathers. They deserve the recognition. So often our dads get the brunt of the thanks and praise. They are out working and hustling and many don’t get home till the lights are already off. I saw a lot of kind words about moms as well this Father’s Day online, but they have their designated day. Let’s keep this one about “pops.”
The Goldy lockS Band played an outdoor show that day at a yacht club and we felt extra “cute.” So many families were there to celebrate and pay homage to the guy who taught us so much. Even if your dad wasn’t in the picture growing up, we all had that guy in the neighborhood who was a surrogate “dad” and taught us well. It was beautiful to see.
I asked the crowd of dads if we could please have 5 “heterosexual” men come to the stage. This trick works every time because we get the most egotistical “bros” who take the bait. They are cool until I start pulling out my little “hats” from a plastic stage prop bin. Once they see the police, cowboy, biker, and sailor hat they start to figure it out and mumble under their breath.
This time the fisherman hat was proudly worn by a 97-year-old World War Two war hero. He was able to raise his legs just a little in the YMCA “Father’s Day” rendition we put on for the people. They went nuts and the man’s daughter told us he hadn’t had that much fun in 40 years. That was a win in our book. We were happy to share some love with that dad. She was a good daughter. She knows how precious the time they have left truly is.
I must have missed the memo growing up because I didn’t really remember all the good my father did for me until flipping through the old photo albums after my mom went to be with the Lord. She painstakingly glued those paper corners in a paper album to secure those 110 photos and polaroids. What a beautiful sight. Even more so was realizing everything my father taught me from building, to gardening, to sewing, to cooking to fixing a car. We take these things for granted growing up and often find the lessons “annoying” when really they are the greatest gift a parent could give because it’s their time.
I couldn’t help but notice in the sea of people we played for or the posts online that some folks weren’t so keen on celebrating Father’s Day. I know this feeling oh too well on Mother’s Day. It’s as if every commercial or reminder burns my skin. I’m just not over my mom’s passing yet. Even if I was, the constant reminder of what day is coming up get’s to be more than salt in old wounds.
I wanted to write this article as a reminder to us all to sometimes just think before we speak at holidays or any day for that matter. Maybe try asking some questions or learning more about a person before you just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. We were at a friend’s house during the past show who lost his father and was having a rough time. My friend blurted out, almost as if it were a chore, “I gotta go call my dad.” I could see our gracious host’s face fall in sadness.
We don’t have to walk on eggshells, but just be mindful as I mentioned and especially at holidays of someone’s possible loss and the void they so wish they could fill. Ask questions and when you find out more, if it’s possible, get the person to share a GOOD memory of those who are gone. Get them laughing if you can by asking them to describe their loved one. Have them tell a funny story. Remind them they are looking down on them and are proud. I’ve had some luck with this and invite you to try it if the moment feels right.
I’d like to thank the fathers out there who try so hard to raise their kids the right way. Thank you for all the overprotective dads out there who really do know best. Thank you to many I know who get the short end of the stick due to our judicial system and it sometimes not working the way it should with regards to a father’s rights. I’ve seen it first hand. To the dads out there who get frustrated by all of this, don’t worry. Your child will grow up and see things for how they really are. You raised good little people. They have their own minds and opinions. They will come around even if you are being wrongfully kept from seeing them. They will find you. That’s my prayer for you and “expectation.”
Don’t wait until Father’s Day each year to pay homage to “Good Ole Dad.” Look around the house, clean it if he’s cool with that. Bathrooms, garages, hedge trimming, mow the lawn, prune a tree. Most fathers I’ve found appreciate “acts of service” as their “Love Language” Try it. When all else fails as I suggested above “ASK.”
I dedicate this article to the late father of Lisa Torch, A.K.A. “The Goofy Blonde Chef”. She’s a patron, a supporter but most importantly, a friend. Her father went to be with the Lord right before Father’s Day. I guess there was some pretty official business in heaven this year Lisa. God needed a strong, gorgeous wonderful dad up there to help out with maybe some kids who didn’t have the same wonderful support you did growing up. He’s new and improved up there watching you with a HUGE smile carrying on his legacy.
We are made up of energy my Golden Peeps. We never die. Our spirit just transfers somewhere else where it’s more appropriately needed. Cry, mourn, but nothing will ever take away what our fathers have done for us and continue to do.