Today we address that age-old question, “does size really matter?”
Is it the size of the boat or the motion of the ocean?
I know many men secretly wonder how they measure up even though they may not talk about it. I have seen many guys show signs of insecurity and even cut ties with some due to their constant obsession with bringing up SIZE.
I remember a date, Netflix & literally chilling on a cold Minnesota night. The night wasn’t going very well and we awkwardly sat on the couch staring at the tv.Every time an actor would enter the frame and my date would utter, “wow, I bet he has a big ****?”
Black, White, Hispanic, and Asian men. It didn’t matter. He left no stone unturned wondering about their endowment. I cowered in my seat, praying to God a convent of nuns would soon take center stage. I realized the bloke I’m with REALLY has a problem! Our first date and LAST, he’s comparing himself to every Tom, Dick, and Harry we watched, pun intended.
I learned size DOES matter. But mostly to men. Not so much to many of the women I personally know or in articles I’ve read. Everyone can’t be hung like a horse. And would you even want to be?
Now you can’t get on social media and not see porn, Only Fan adds, and everything SEX. It’s a daily occurrence we see and many have been conditioned and actually DEsensitized by it. I’m sure I compare myself to other women without even thinking about it. I think we all subconsciously do. How can we not?
I wonder how young people feel about likes, views, comments, and everything in between? It’s got to be really difficult growing up in the fake, false world of social media. Men, I know this affects you also and I wanted to really focus on something I hear you saying without words; am I ENOUGH?
Enter my friend and professional, Dr. Brooke Faught. She is a board-certified, women’s-health nurse practitioner with specialty training in female sexual and pelvic floor medicine, urology, and vulvoscopy. She regularly lectures to local, national, and international audiences and she is frequently invited to provide her expert opinion and we are so lucky to have her joining us on www.RussosBrand.com, where we speak candidly on size, but more importantly, how one communicates on what to do with the cards you’re dealt.
Dr. Faught enlightens us that for as many men who are concerned with their size, women equally are worried about the look of their genitals. Men don’t realize this, but the proof is in the statistics.
According to www.obpmedical.com, 3 types of procedures are Growing in Popularity.
- Labiaplasty: 2016 was host to a 39% increase in labiaplasty. Surgery to reduce the labia minora and/or labia majora is the most commonly requested procedure.
- Hymenoplasty: Also known as hymen restoration surgery, hymenoplasty repairs the hymen, restoring it to its original intact condition. The procedure is on the rise on all continents and is particularly popular in Muslim communities where arranged marriage is popular.
- Vaginoplasty: Commonly requested by older women and those who have given birth, vaginoplasty is a procedure that tightens the vaginal muscles.
Of the three procedures described above, labiaplasty is the most common. Even girls as young as 16 years old are having their labia lips removed in the hope of having “the perfect vagina.
And guys, this is INTERNATIONAL.
Labiaplasty was reported to be the fourth most popular cosmetic surgical procedure in the United States following liposuction, breast augmentation, and rhinoplasty. The increase in labiaplasty is not isolated to the United States. In Australia, the number of labiaplasty procedures performed under Medicare rose from 444 annually to 1,605 annually over a 13 year period. The trend is even more pronounced in the United Kingdom, where there was a fivefold increase in labiaplasties over a 10-year period.
So bros, what does that mean for you? It means chill. We have so much social pressure for our own goods looking great that you can take a load off. We have our own fish to fry.
What has women running to go under the knife more than ever? You guessed it. Drum roll, please. Social Media.
Retouched images of genitalia on social media have more people than ever feeling self-conscience.
“Highly-curated, and extensively retouched, images on social media and the mainstream media are leaving many women and men with little idea of the real range of normal female external genitalia.”– Cheryl Iglesia, MD
Also, in line with the above is a distorted view of “normal” genitalia.“Every woman is different, and there is a huge variation of what is normal. A woman may say ‘my labia is too large,’ but have a variation of normal, so the question is why is it bothering them?”– Jeffrey S. Palmer, MD, FACS, FAAP, Director, Cosmetic Urology Institute
Those statistics leave my head spinning. So much of what we see online is deciding WHO we should be. The very act of staring off into the blue light before bedtime, rather than talking with our partner or decompressing naturally is diminishing. Sometimes it feels like the “perception” of looking great for others beats out on good old fashion sexy time with our spouse or potential mate.
Another old fashion concept that needs to be resurrected is communication. This brings us to the main point of this article. In my opinion, it’s not the size that ultimately matters or the visual appearance of one’s “stuff” but rather the communication that is the very glue in a great relationship. Dr. Faught validates my theory by saying,
“Ironically most patients don’t complain about small penises, but rather large ones.” Something penetrating through a body structure that’s full of nerves can really hurt guys. So if you are smaller, don’t fret and if you’re on the larger spectrum, just talk to your partner. Ask playful and safe questions about what they like, what feels good, have they hurt after sex, and why? You will be gaining some valuable information but also arming your arsenal with some priceless amo because your partner now knows you care and are wanting to be sensitive to her needs. That’s a win-win. This advice goes for all configurations of a relationship. Communication bus KEY.
Dr. Faught likes to tell men when they come in with their female partners, don’t concern themselves with aesthetics. She offers the same advice to women. She wants men & women alike to understand not to be hyper-focused on how one looks but rather the physical pleasure that should be derived from their sexual encounter. It’s important to be “present” and not hyper-focus on outside sources. When it comes to sexual pleasure, enjoyment, and the ability to become orgasmic there is inhibition that has to happen. Certain parts of the brain have to shut down in order to appreciate the excitement that’s happening in the brain.
We also explore on the podcast, (Watch the video version on The RELM Network or listen to the audio episode free on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, and iHeartRadio!) a suggestion from us both. The holiday season is upon us and let’s address the elephant in the room. Men are sometimes afraid, intimidated or even offended by different toys that can sometimes help a woman lead to orgasm. Let me tell you if this applies to you, check your hangups at the door.
If it’s something new to you or you don’t understand it, I suggest you stop in at a local mom and pop store, asking questions from the people who work there or run it. And every experience I’ve had worldwide there are kind and caring adults there well versed in what goes on under the sheets and how to make it the best experience possible for you. Talk to them. Get a feel and then, suggest a date night, and if your partner seems open to exploring, pull up into the parking lot and start a conversation.
Be excited at the thought of finding love and attraction. It’s out there. And if you have that special partner, no matter how new or how mature the relationship, communicating is still going to be your hottest tool in the box.
Guys, you ARE enough however much sausage fills the bun. Ladies, don’t let social media or any media decide the appearance of your downstairs. Talk MORE with your partner about what makes you tick, gets you excited, and most importantly gets you off. There is someone PERFECTLY designed for you out there. Look for the Cinderella slipper that fits your Johnson and most importantly you.