I was at the car wash, marinating in my spray tan and dying of heat exhaustion when I smelled the wefts of something actually pleasant. Keep in mind while your spray tan is developing one usually stinks more than the trash can behind your favorite seafood restaurant in late August. Translation: It’s BAD!
This aroma smelled really good that’s why I knew it wasn’t me. I looked over and there was a lady cleaning out her car and taking advantage of the complimentary vacuum and free cleaning spray. I thought to myself what fragrance is she wearing!? Maybe I would ask her?
Now, let me tell you how it is with most women asking about a fragrance or “where they got that necklace or who did their nails?”… etc. And I can play this card because I AM a woman. You ask a lady what perfume they have on and they immediately draw a blank. I’d say 99% of the females I’ve asked throughout my lifetime have forgotten what they sprayed on their bodies 5 minutes ago. It just seems to be some universal code women have where they don’t want other matrons to “get ahead.” They are competitive and don’t want their secrets revealed.
I’ve always told everyone what I was wearing and even where to buy it. I guess I don’t feel threatened. And neither did this neighboring car cleaner! To my surprise, she was overjoyed to take the very BOTTLE of her potion out of the center console of her car, a bottle of Black Onyx! Then she proclaimed she uses it in her car daily to cover up the smell of weed.
She was proud and very forthright about her secret. She even went so far as to tell me where I could score some and how much it cost.
This whole transaction was foreign and a fresh surprise. Someone voluntarily sharing? It was beautiful and it really got me thinking. For somebody (me) who acts like she has her stuff together, I need to be more open-minded. When I hear somebody talking about a topic I don’t agree with or don’t engage in, I usually shut it down. My ears just close like the outside door of an old bank vault. Sealed forever never to let anything penetrate what’s inside.
I don’t smoke weed, it’s not my thing. Personally I don’t need any more help achieving “Netflix” and chill, I’m already at the “EXPERT” level. I’m a professional at finding snacks and procrastinating. Cellulite and thick thighs already seem to be my best friends. So I don’t need to throw in any accomplices or partners in crime that might add insult to injury. Mary Jane would just amplify my quest for munchies, so I don’t partake. I have many people in my life who do smoke marijuana. Some for medical purposes, some are just over the top, and if they didn’t smoke it… God help us all. Others are better off with something natural to keep from taking too many prescription drugs to mellow. I have a lot of people I know that smoke it more than they should recreationally and my only problem with this is that sometimes marijuana, when smoked in excess, doesn’t allow people to reach their full “get er done” potential.
I’m just all about healthy living, exercising, eating whole foods, and dealing with life and any problems at full force and full speed ahead. Sometimes I feel as though smoking pot hinders the person more than helps. This is just from my personal experiences especially talking to kids and students I meet when I do school presentations and public speaking. Some weeks I speak to over 15,000 young adults and I truly “listen” to what they say. So drugs, even the natural one, I’ve formed my own opinions based on what I’ve experienced. I’m allowed, it’s my opinion. I’m not throwing shade, just talking about what I’ve seen through my lenses. I just want everyone reaching their goals, living their dreams, getting things done, and taking names and numbers, especially our kids.
Normally I would have shut down when she even said the word “pot”. I would have made a judgment and been on my merry way. I’m being honest and transparent. This is a very RAW column. But today I was in a particularly good mood, I don’t know why, but I was, and I listened to this woman. After all, wasn’t I complaining in at the top of the hour that females don’t share? You can’t be too “particular” when you ask the Universe for something. It just heard “SHARE”, Goldy.
So many times when we don’t listen we miss out on so much in life. Here I am preaching taking names and numbers, getting things done, when the very art of listening encourages us to expand our horizons and to learn. Nobody ever gets better or grows without investigating new terrain. And that can come in the shape of reading a book, an article, a podcast, or the most inexpensive way at all, just lending an ear to another.
I’ve spent so much time and energy in my life being angry at other people’s habits and views then I robbed myself of time I could have spent more useful things elsewhere.
If you have a different viewpoint on religion, politics, sexual preference, extracurricular activities; if it’s not really hurting anyone, what’s it to you?
As a country, a nation, personally, we spend so much time in other people’s business. And I’m not talking about things that cost us money or hurt people, that’s not it. I’m talking about just comments we make either verbally or in our own minds daily that take up too much time and too much unnecessary space.
“Look at her? Look at him? I wonder if he or she is _________. Fill in the blank. Honestly, who cares?
If you’ve made it this far in the article I want to thank you. You know I write these columns because personally I suck at life most of the time. I spin it like I’m on top of the world. But if you could hear what’s going on inside my head sometimes, behind those closed doors… I have work to do. 🙂
So I try to illustrate something in a positive light that I personally probably need to work on myself. I appreciate you hanging here with me in “Goldy’s Corner”. It means the world.
I don’t need to smoke a bowl to find out what makes another person tick. I just need to listen more and judge a lot less. Who knows? Maybe if I put a little Black Onyx on my clothes the next time I spray tan I won’t have the neighborhood animals giving me the side-eye.
Be kind. Listen. It’s free. #GoldyKnows