Is Fear Living Your Life For You? The Journey-Centered Life

When I was asked to write a column for The Los Angeles Tribune, I had been working successfully as a freelance writer and energy transformation coach for ten years, but somehow, my first thought was that I was not ready, and my first instinct was fear. As I felt into my reaction and listened to myself make justifications for passing on the opportunity, I realized that they were all based in fear: what if I don’t have anything good to say? Who is going to care about what I have to say, anyway? I’m not old enough, learned enough, or fancy enough to deserve a platform. The world is so divisive today, and what I have to say might anger people, and I don’t want anyone to think negatively about me!

As I heard the thoughts run through my consciousness, I realized that it wasn’t me talking: it was my programming; and it was bullshit. Just three days before, I had had a reading with Phyllis Douglass, a deeply wise and gifted channeler and healer. A key point in her reading was that I was coming to a precipice. That very soon, I would need to take a leap, and step into my emerging world of light, or be sucked back down into the dark, limited, purpose-less life I had just left.

And boy she was right.

Although I had done some serious work on myself, deep introspection, and the extensive release of trapped emotions, there is always more to do. This role struck every chord left in me regarding my worthiness to use my voice, the value of my message, and my ability to write for myself, rather than ghostwrite for others, as I had done for the past ten years.

Still in conversation about the role with the Tribune, these realizations began to click into place, and I began to laugh. I knew that I really had no choice: I had to accept the role, because it was part of my healing.

Breaking the cycles of the past can be hard, but they are always worth it.

In a session with Life Coach Donna Bond, I learned that fear in itself is not a bad thing, or a thing to be avoided. In fact, she encouraged me to examine those things that brought forward the emotion of fear, and use the response as a signal that I should absolutely do it.

But that’s so contrary to what we’re all doing – so how can it be right?

First, we need to make sure we’re talking about the same thing: fear is different than life-saving instinct. I’m not saying that if the thought of jumping off a cliff with no parachute brings up fear for you, then you should do it – of course not! 

But I AM saying that if fear is holding you back from stepping into something that brings you joy, fulfillment, and wellbeing, then pay attention! What fear tells us is that we’ve come to an edge, the border between safety and the unknown; and there are few things scarier to most than uncertainty. But change doesn’t happen from a place of safety. There’s a reason that a ripped bod comes from hard work, pushing past boundaries of discomfort and exhaustion. There’s a reason so few people are famous, or wealthy. There’s a reason that, if asked, most people will tell you that they have a book idea they’ve never written, or business idea they’ve never launched, or an invention they’ve never created – fear.

So how is fear limiting your life? If you’ve read my articles, you’ll know I like to suggest exercises to explore the concepts I’m presenting.

So here it is today: 

1. Make a list of all of the things you’re not doing out of fear. 
2. Under each, list the fears that are holding you back. Fear of failure? Rejection? Looking bad? Loss of money? 
3. For each of those fears, decide – are those fears real, or are they stories you’re telling yourself? If they have a grounding in reality, is there some workaround? 
4. Reframe your fear into a positive I AM statement. For more in I AM statements, read my article here.

For example:

1. I can’t write my own column!
   • I don’t have good ideas – that’s why I write for others!
   • That’s a story. I have loads of good ideas. People seek me out and pay me for my ideas
   • I AM well-prepared and ready to write my own column.
2. Who is going to care about what I have to say? No one is going to read it and I’ll waste all that time and effort.
   • If nothing else, it will give me an opportunity to write what I want, which I’ve been longing to do.
   • If it even helps one person, sparks one point of interest that leads someone down a path of wellbeing, it will be worth it.
   • I AM embracing the opportunity to express myself in my own way.
3. I’m not old enough, learned enough, or fancy enough to deserve a platform. There are plenty of other people who are more deserving than me.
   • That’s a story.
   • People twice my age pay me for both my writing and my transformation coaching services because what I do is of real value. I already have proof that I am enough in the work I’m already doing.
   • I AM enough, right now, as-is.
4. What I have to say might anger people, and I don’t want anyone to think negatively about me!
   • Story
   • I AM not responsible for the feelings of others.
   • I AM expressing my truth with love, compassion, and clarity, therefore, the people who need to hear it, will.

You have an opportunity right now to uncover some deep blocks to living the life you deserve and desire. I pray that you take this moment to take a deep dive, explore yourself, and resurface with greater clarity and boldness.